I don’t know about you but I’ve had a few disastrous dates over the years which is why I decided to write this simple list of do’s and dont’s I’ve discovered over the years. This is not a definitive guide but by following these simple rules you are more likely to see you on a second or third date than not following them.
Rule 1: Be On Time.
While this might sound obvious, I’ve had a few dates in the past that have turned up late and worse than that they haven’t even given me a good explanation as to why or called to let me know they were on their way. There is nothing worse than sitting outside a movie theater or restaurant alone, especially if you’re female.
Allocate enough time when you leave for your date and make a good impression from the start. If you are going to be late due to traffic let you’re date know if possible.
Rule 2: Honesty Pays.
Honesty is a good way to start a possible relationship so don’t lie to your date. If you really are a brain surgeon or astronaut then great, if not then don’t tell them you are. Think about it, if you lie on your first date, and you do connect again, you’ll need to remember those lies in a weeks time, then 12 weeks later, can you really keep that up and your lies straight. Eventually they will catch up with you and it’s far better to start on a truthful footing.
That’s not to say that omitting some information is bad, but if your date asks you something point blank then for your own sakes as well as theirs tell the truth.
Rule 3: Make An Effort.
This might sound obvious but taking a little time to have a bath/shower, can go a long way to saying something about you as a person to you’re date. Take the time to prepare for this date, it’s important to remember that first impressions do count here.
Rule 4: Don’t Drink and Date.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t drink on a date here, what I am saying is moderation is everything. A good rule to follow is limit yourself to one drink an hour, if you really must drink at all. There is nothing less attractive than a date that over the course of the night ends up drunker than a skunk, reeks of booze and can’t even drive you home!
Even worse is someone who turns up on a date drunk in the first place. Watching your partner for the night staggering down the road towards you, doesn’t inspire anyone with confidence and first impressions do count!
Rule 5: Do Not Talk About Your Ex!Talking about your ex all night is a definite turn off for most people when it comes to dating. So okay you still hold a torch for him or her but think about it. If your date did this to you how would you feel?
Rule 6: I want to have your children!
I’d rather go on a date with an axe murderer than someone who declares their undying love for me 10 minutes into a date and is prepared to set a wedding date that night. I’m not alone in this thinking either according to surveys.
Most of us are looking for longer term relationships when we first date but there is nothing quite as disconcerting as a date who talks about nothing but settling down and marriage on a first date. I want to get to know you a little better, even if I think you could just be Mr/Mrs Right, let’s just see how it goes okay?
Rule 7:Turn Your Cell Phone Off!
This might sound obvious but there is nothing more annoying than trying to talk to someone with a cell phone that’s ringing. Voice messaging was invented for a reason, use it! If the call was that important the person will always leave a message so you really have no excuse here.
Rule 8: Pay Attention.
Listen to what you’re date is saying when they talk. Make them feel like the center of attention. This is closely linked to body language but think about how you would feel if your date spent all night constantly looking out the window and paid you very little attention. You’ve spent the time getting to know this person well enough to ask for their time don;t you think that time deserves your full attention now?
Rule 9: Play it cool.
Unless you’re looking for nothing more than a one-night stand, keep the sexual comments and actions down to a minimum. When you’re first getting to know someone for the first time, try and keep conversations and activities on a platonic level. This is you’re chance to impress them with your honesty not be all over them sexually like a bad rash -) )
Rule 10: Don’t Bitch and Moan!
Don’t whine about everything when you’re out on a first date. So you’ve had a crappy day at work, leave it there and enjoy the evening with your date. Nothing kills a conversation or mood quicker than your date continually whining about everything and yes I’ve experienced a few of these myself and they are so not fun!
Keeping things light and happy is far more likely to get you a second date should you want one.
Jenne is the webmistress of http://www.clitical.com and has been writing sexuality/relationship articles for over 10 years.